My Life Put Into Words

Hey there. Yeah you. I see you. I see the tiredness in your eyes. I see the stress on your body. I see you trying to be the best Mom out there. I see you trying to drink just one cup of HOT coffee in the morning before you have to make breakfast or tell your kid to stop screaming at 8 in the morning. I see you getting upset because its only 11AM and you have told your child for the 500th time to not do something. I see you trying to not lose your patience because your kid wont listen; so you turn the T.V. on yet again just to get a little peace. I see you looking in the mirror and hating your body. I see you wondering how your husband still loves you. I see you wishing you had your 21 year old body again and thinking that you thought you were ugly then; but wishing you looked half as good now as you did at 21. I see you running around the house doing laundry-that never seems to end, scrubbing the bathrooms, scrubbing the floors, doing dishes that also never seem to end. Who knew you ...

If your outside world is stressful and chaotic, then chances are that your inside world will be too. The past few weeks have been stressful in the McNeil household. Shea got a new job. A much better job. One that pays well and has lots of benefits. The downside to this job is Shea has to be away from home, away from us. Eventually we will get a truck and trailer and then Gabriel and I can travel with Shea. But while this living arrangement is only temporary it is hard on Me and Gabriel. During the day its pretty normal but it gets hard at night knowing my husband wont be coming home. So because of that I get lonely and sad. I miss him. I long for a hug and kiss from him. In the middle of getting a job, Shea has had a hard time getting a truck and trailer. Its just been one dead end after another. We have been disappointed after being told we could buy a truck from somewhere. We had wasted many weekends, wasted our time and our energy. My heart hurt every time Shea got told no. I wa...

Gabriel turned 14 months yesterday. I can't believe he is getting so big. Gabriel sleeps 11-12 hours every night now (which is wonderful compared to how he slept just a few months ago). Today was a really good day it was filled with smiles, hugs, kisses and laughter! In the morning Gabriel gets up eats some food and he gets a sippy with half a protein shake and half milk and then we sit on the sofa and watch some cartoons. Then he goes in his room and plays in there till he is ready for his nap around 12. (He is finally taking one nap a day!) While he naps I take a shower and do some chores and then sit down and watch some of my netflix. Then when he wakes up he eats some lunch and then we play for a couple hours. Then it's time for me to cook dinner and for daddy to come home. Gabriel is now obsessed with his daddy! 😍 He walks around the house during the day saying "where's daddy?" And when daddy finally comes home Gabriel just wants to be with him and tell him ...

Hey guys. I haven’t been on here lately. So sorry. Ive been so busy. I moved to liberty lake into this amazing apartment! Shea has been working so much more now that we are closer to work! We are saving lots more money and life has just been wonderful! But what I’m on here for is to let you all know my little baby boy; Gabriel Is going to be one tomorrow (July 14). And I am so happy and excited to celebrate his first year of life. I do miss when he was little and all he wanted to do with snuggle with me. Now he is walking all over the place. He has 6 teeth. He is talking. He has grown up SO MUCH in the past year. I just spent the past 20ish minutes crying cuz I was looking at pictures from when he was born. I love him so much and I don’t know what I’d do if he wasn’t here. He taught me how to be a mom. He has showed me what real love is. He has showed me how low I can go. And he was right there with me when I got back up. Most days the first face I see is his (other days it’s shea when...

Very short post today. I just have to tell you all about this awesome girl I know!  So today is our last day in chewelah. We are moving to liberty lake (which is about 1.5-2 away from Chewelah). I’m super sad cuz Gabriel and I made these awesome friends. Destiny and Ethan would come over and hang out every single day pretty much. Gabriel had a buddy to play with and I think considered Ethan his brother. Destiny and I first met back in October when I tried starting this mommy group. We met for coffee one day and we talked for HOURS! And then after that she would come over for coffee in the morning and we would walk around town with our boys in the afternoon. Destiny has been a wonderful amazing friend to me. And I’m gunna miss her SO MUCH! Today she has helped me finish packing everything else (even though she didn’t want to! Lol)  I’m gunna miss you destiny girl! Keep your head up. You are a wonderful mother to Ethan; I see it every day! Keep kissing that little boy ...

Well tomorrow is Valentines Day. What does that day mean to you? To me its basically another day. I mean its a good day to remind yourself how much you love your husband, boyfriend, wife or girlfriend. But what if you don't have any of those? What if you're single on Valentines day? Its a good day for you to remember how much God loves you. Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by his love; He will exult over you with loud singing. Its also a good reminder of how much you love your family. The definition of love in the Webster Dictionary is this: noun  1. An intense feeling of deep affection. 2. A person or thing that one loves. verb  1. To feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone). When you hear the word love your brain automatically goes to loving (someone). But sometimes someone will say they love _____ (something). Loving someone and loving something are two...