10 things my mother told me that are not true.

As little kids we believe everything our parents say — until reality comes knocking and we start to realize that some things parents say might not be completely true. So did your mom tell you things as you grew up that you realized aren’t true when you became an adult? So did mine. Here are 10 things my mom told me that just aren’t true.

1. You will grow hair on your chest if you drink too much coffee. 

Let’s be honest; when you became a mom the amount of coffee that consumes your life now is more then the sleep you get per night. You can’t go more then 2 hours without a cup of coffee. I’m pretty sure she just told me that to keep it all to herself; because I’ve been drinking coffee since I was 13 and I still don’t have hair on my chest.

2. If you don’t learn algebra how are you going to get through life?

Has ANYONE, anyone as a parent used algebra at all? Cuz I know I haven’t since I left high school. It’s been 10 years since high school and I have yet to use algebra. 

3. Mommy and daddy are just playing.

Hahahaha what a big fat lie. I was so innocent as a kid. But not so much anymore. Me as a parent now have definitely used that phrase (or something similar) with my kids. The first time my oldest over heard us doing the deed we told him that we were just having fun and his response was “mommy’s happy.” 😂 yes my little man I sure was until you walked in. 

4. Chocolate milk comes from brown cows.

Okay yes as a kid that sounded ridiculous. But like why would mom lie about that? To get you to stop asking questions; that’s why. I can’t tell you how annoying it gets when your kid constantly asks you questions that are just so crazy, so you tell them that yes chocolate milk comes from brown cows and regular milk comes from white cows… but what about that pink milk? 😳 

5. Everyone’s a winner.

No; not everyone is a winner. There is one winner and a whole lot of losers. And I was one of those loser most of my childhood. I was still a good sport about being a loser but hey, there really is only one winner. 

6. Babies come from storks.

Man was that a big big lie. If you are a mom you know they definitely don’t come from storks. Wouldn’t that just be so easy to order a baby and have it delivered 😂. But when that baby becomes an adult you’ll get to tell them the real story of how they came to the family; and how much they should be oh so grateful to you. 

7. If you tell the truth I wont get mad.

The truth will set you free! Unless that truth is that you really did use all of Mom's lipstick for your art project, in which case, you're in big trouble.

8. I don’t have a favorite child. 

Oh yes they did. And they still do. Took me till I was an adult to figure out that was a lie. I have 2 kids so far and I definitely don’t have a favorite 😉 

9. If you sit too close to the tv it will damage your eyes.

I may or may not have said this a few time to my kids. And no its not true, I’ve come too realize they just said that because my big head was blocking their show. 

And last but not least 

10. I know what I’m doing/I have it all under control

Okay okay yeah there times I don’t know what I’m doing or I don’t have it under control and those kids know that we know this. So we say that we do know or we have it under control to avoid having our kids tell us what to do or mock us. I get it now mom. 

Let those children be innocent for as long as they can be, one day they will have kids of their own and will use the same little white lies on their kids that you used on them.