Marriage

What is love?

When you tell your spouse "I love you" what is it that you truly mean? Normally people are referring to the feeling of love. And there is nothing wrong with that! But there is something wrong when you think the only thing defining love is a feeling.... 

What is Gods definition of love?

In 1 Corinthians 13 God explains what love is. 

1. Love is patient
2. Love is kind
3. Love does not envy
4. Love does not boast
5. Love is not proud
6. Love is not rude
7. Love is not self seeking
8. Love is not easily angered
9. Love does not keep any record of wrongs
10. Love does not delight in evil
11. Love rejoices in truth
12. Love always protects
13. Love always trusts
14. Love always hopes
15. Love always perseveres
16. Love never fails

 Now this puts a whole new spin on what love is. It's not JUST a feeling. It's also how you act, your character and your mind. Now I have to admit that this kind of love doesn't always come easy to me (and I'm sure most of you as well). We are only human. I think some part of it is because we are selfish instead of selfless. And when we act like this... it's hard for someone-especially our spouse to feel our love towards them. 

One thing you should note in the verses above are They focus more about others and not ourselves. Just like in john 15:13. Greater LOVE has no man than this then to lay down ones life for his friends. This is the type of love we need to have and show in our marriage. 

Learning to grow in Godly love in your marriage

Spiritual growth is quite like your physical growth. It does not happen over night but instead is slow and a process. You have to keep at it and not give up. One way your Godly love can grow better is to get to know God. Learn about Him. Read what He did to show love. Have fellowship with other married believers. Build each other up. Once you have 1 Corinthians 13 love down you are on your way to a wonderful Godly Love. 

Characteristics of a Godly Marriage.

Ephesians 5:22-28

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church,his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

The first point in the above verses is for wives to submit to their husbands. This a very important point in a Godly Marriage. Why do you think a lot of woman struggle with this? (I know I do at times). I think it's because most woman believe they are equal to their husbands. But in all honestly this has nothing to do with equality. God explained in 1 peter 2:18 that slaves are to submit to their masters. (Slaves, in reverent fear of God submit yourselves to your masters, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh). God never once said a slave is less than a master or a wife is less than a husband. In order for things to work there needs to be 1 leader or else there is only going to be chaos. God created authority in everything. God is the authority to the church. The king (or president in today's world) is the authority to the country. The master is the authority to the slave. Husbands are the authority to the wife. God placed husbands as the head of the household. Period. 

Husbands; are you a leader? Men who are natural leaders have no trouble answering the question "yes." They know how to take over, control, guide, and get things done. They do not do it in a dominating way or by demanding obedience by their wife. Husbands are to love their wives. Do you accept your wife; not based on her performance but as a precious gift from God to you?

Do you serve your wife? This may sound weird but even though a husband is the head of the wife he also needs to be a servant. Just like Christ. Christ was the head of the church but He also demonstrated what a servant is. One way you can serve your wife is to know what her needs are and try to meet them. Does your wife have any dreams or ambitions? If she does do you know what they are? 

Marriage is not easy every single day. I have learned that during the past 11 months of my marriage. But I believe if you have all of these as the foundation of your marriage; you and your spouse will be able to accomplish anything. 

Marriage was ordained for a remedy and to increase the world and for the man to help the woman and the woman the man, with all love and kindness.

-William Tyndale-